Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
