No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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