i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
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we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
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The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
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