Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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