Do you still have your period?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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