Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
