i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
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We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
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My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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