paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
