Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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