talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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