the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
