She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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