stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
