I love black thongs
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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