come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
