AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
honey bunches of taint.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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