K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
