My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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