I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
