It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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