areolas are like halos for boobs.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
