Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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