That's when you crack a 10am beer
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
