Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize