rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
