I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We need to rekindle our bromance
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I woke up under a house in Key West
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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