Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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