idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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