I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
