Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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