This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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