guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
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Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
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Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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