Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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