she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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