I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So much rum. So many feels.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
