Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
