Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
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im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize