Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize