we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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