Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
