turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
