There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
