I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
