That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We were destined to go to rehab together
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
