My nipple is on Facebook.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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