Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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