i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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