you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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