The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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