Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
did i walk over a car last night?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Sext me about skeletons
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
