Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
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