gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
