yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
