tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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