Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
