we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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