just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Found your dick twin last night
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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