that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
