guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
