peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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