i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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