stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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