i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i think i have herpe
just one?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
