Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
