Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
