woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize