Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
