I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
