Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
